AQA GCSE English Language 8700/1 - Explorations in creative ...

Mark Scheme

Introduction

The information provided for each question is intended to be a guide to the kind of answers anticipated and is neither exhaustive nor prescriptive. All appropriate responses should be given credit.

Level of response marking instructions

Level of response mark schemes are broken down into four levels (where appropriate). Read through the student's answer and annotate it (as instructed) to show the qualities that are being looked for. You can then award a mark.

You should refer to the standardising material throughout your marking. The Indicative Standard is not intended to be a model answer nor a complete response, and it does not exemplify required content. It is an indication of the quality of response that is typical for each level and shows progression from Level 1 to 4.

Step 1 Determine a level

Start at the lowest level of the mark scheme and use it as a ladder to see whether the answer meets the descriptors for that level. If it meets the lowest level then go to the next one and decide if it meets this level, and so on, until you have a match between the level descriptor and the answer. With practice and familiarity you will be able to quickly skip through the lower levels for better answers. The Indicative Standard column in the mark scheme will help you determine the correct level.

Step 2 Determine a mark

Once you have assigned a level you need to decide on the mark. Balance the range of skills achieved; allow strong performance in some aspects to compensate for others only partially fulfilled. Refer to the standardising scripts to compare standards and allocate a mark accordingly. Re-read as needed to assure yourself that the level and mark are appropriate. An answer which contains nothing of relevance must be awarded no marks.

Advice for Examiners

In fairness to students, all examiners must use the same marking methods.

1. Refer constantly to the mark scheme and standardising scripts throughout the marking period.
2. Always credit accurate, relevant and appropriate responses that are not necessarily covered by the mark scheme or the standardising scripts.
3. Use the full range of marks. Do not hesitate to give full marks if the response merits it.
4. Remember the key to accurate and fair marking is consistency.
5. If you have any doubt about how to allocate marks to a response, consult your Team Leader.

SECTION A: READING - Assessment Objectives

AO1

• Identify and interpret explicit and implicit information and ideas.
• Select and synthesise evidence from different texts.

AO2

• Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views.

AO3

• Compare writers' ideas and perspectives, as well as how these are conveyed, across two or more texts.

AO4

• Evaluate texts critically and support this with appropriate textual references.

SECTION B: WRITING - Assessment Objectives

AO5 (Writing: Content and Organisation)

• Communicate clearly, effectively and imaginatively, selecting and adapting tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences.
• Organise information and ideas, using structural and grammatical features to support coherence and cohesion of texts.

AO6

• Candidates must use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose and effect, with accurate spelling and punctuation. (This requirement must constitute 20% of the marks for each specification as a whole).

Answers

Question 1 - Mark Scheme

Read again the first part of the source, from lines 1 to 9. Answer all parts of this question. Choose one answer for each. [4 marks]

Assessment focus (AO1): Identify and interpret explicit and implicit information and ideas. This assesses bullet point 1 (identify and interpret explicit and implicit information and ideas).

• 1.1 Who had a valet trained in a thoroughly peculiar fashion?: Athos – 1 mark
• 1.2 What is the valet named?: Grimaud – 1 mark
• 1.3 Who is stated to be very taciturn?: Athos – 1 mark
• 1.4 Which two characters are named as companions?: Porthos and Aramis – 1 mark

Question 2 - Mark Scheme

Look in detail at this extract, from lines 6 to 15 of the source:

6 never heard him laugh. His words were brief and expressive, conveying all that was meant, and no more; no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques. His conversation was a matter of fact, without a single romance. Although Athos was scarcely thirty years old, and was of great personal beauty

11 and intelligence of mind, no one knew whether he had ever had a mistress. He never spoke of women. He certainly did not prevent others from speaking of them before him, although it was easy to perceive that this kind of conversation, in which he only mingled by bitter words and misanthropic remarks, was very disagreeable to him. His reserve, his roughness, and his

How does the writer use language here to present Athos’s way of speaking and his attitude to talk of women? You could include the writer’s choice of:

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms.

[8 marks]

Question 2 (AO2) – Language Analysis (8 marks)

Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views. This question assesses language (words, phrases, features, techniques, sentence forms).

Level 4 (Perceptive, detailed analysis) – 7–8 marks Shows perceptive and detailed understanding of language: analyses effects of choices; selects judicious detail; sophisticated and accurate terminology. Indicative Standard: A Level 4 response would identify how Athos's way of speaking is characterized by "brief and expressive" language, devoid of "embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques," which employs a negative parallelism to convey his austere nature. It would also note how his attitude to talk of women is revealed through "bitter words and misanthropic remarks", showcasing his detachment and discomfort through the writer's use of strong, visceral adjectives.

The writer effectively uses a semantic field of brevity and precision to characterise Athos's speech. Phrases like "brief and expressive," "no more," "no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques," and "matter of fact" highlight his direct, unadorned communication style. The repetition of "no" in the tripartite list creates an emphatic tone, suggesting an active disdain for superfluous language rather than mere indifference. This meticulous choice of words paints Athos as someone whose speech is devoid of romanticism, mirroring his detached persona.

Furthermore, the writer employs contrasting sentence structures to juxtapose Athos's enigmatic nature with his physical attributes. The complex sentence "Although Athos was scarcely thirty years old, and was of great personal beauty and intelligence of mind, no one knew whether he had ever had a mistress" uses a subordinating conjunction to introduce details of his attractiveness, only to pivot sharply to the profound mystery surrounding his romantic life. This structural choice accentuates the paradox of a charismatic man whose private life remains resolutely hidden, creating a sense of intrigue for the reader.

Additionally, the writer uses powerful descriptive adjectives and noun phrases to convey Athos's deep aversion to discussions about women. Phrases like "bitter words and misanthropic remarks" and the description of such conversations being "very disagreeable to him" reveal a profound emotional response beyond simple disinterest. The alliterative 'm' sound in "misanthropic remarks" subtly emphasises his cynical and people-hating disposition, specifically concerning women. This choice of language vividly portrays his internal discomfort and a deep-seated antagonism.

Level 3 (Clear, relevant explanation) – 5–6 marks Shows clear understanding; explains effects; relevant detail; clear and accurate terminology. Indicative Standard: A Level 3 response would typically identify the writer's use of negative constructions like "no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques" and the repetition of "no" to emphasise Athos's blunt and factual speaking style. It would also note how the phrase "bitter words and misanthropic remarks" highlights his negative and unwelcoming attitude towards talk of women, indicating his disagreeable disposition.

The writer uses negative phrasing and a list of three to show Athos's concise way of speaking. Phrases like "no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques" emphasise his direct communication style, suggesting he avoids unnecessary detail. This clearly shows his words are functional and straightforward, reflecting his personality.

Furthermore, the writer uses the metaphorical phrase "a matter of fact, without a single romance" to describe Athos's conversation. This implies his speech is factual and lacks any emotional depth or passion, reinforcing his reserved nature and disinterest in lighthearted topics. The word "romance" highlights his detachment from typical social pleasantries.

Additionally, the writer uses words like "bitter" and "misanthropic" to describe Athos's contributions to conversations about women. This immediately reveals his negative and cynical attitude towards the subject. The strong negative connotations of these words convey his disdain and discomfort, showing that such discussions are "very disagreeable to him."

Level 2 (Some understanding and comment) – 3–4 marks Attempts to comment on effects; some appropriate detail; some use of terminology. Indicative Standard: A Level 2 response notes that Athos's speech is "brief and expressive" and a "matter of fact", showing he doesn't use many words. It also points out he uses "bitter words and misanthropic remarks" when women are discussed, indicating his dislike for such conversations.

The writer uses a list of three to describe Athos's way of speaking: "no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques." This suggests his words are plain and direct, without any extra fuss. It shows he is a man of few words.

Furthermore, the writer states that Athos "never spoke of women." This directly tells the reader his attitude, showing he avoids the topic entirely. It makes him seem private and perhaps uncomfortable with the subject.

Additionally, the phrase "bitter words and misanthropic remarks" is used when he does join in conversations about women. This shows he has a negative and critical view, which makes it clear he dislikes such talk.

Level 1 (Simple, limited comment) – 1–2 marks Simple awareness; simple comment; simple references; simple terminology. Indicative Standard: A Level 1 response might state that Athos never spoke of women and that his words were brief and expressive, showing he was a quiet person.

The writer says Athos's words were "brief and expressive," which shows he didn't talk much but what he said was important. Also, the writer uses words like "no embellishments, no embroidery" to show his simple way of speaking.

The writer also says Athos "never spoke of women." This means he didn't like talking about them. It also says he used "bitter words and misanthropic remarks" when others talked about women, which shows he disliked it. This makes him seem unfriendly about the topic.

Level 0 – No marks: Nothing to reward.

AO2 content may include the effects of language features such as:

• The writer uses a list of three negatives to emphasise Athos’s plain speech: “no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques.”
• The phrase “brief and expressive” highlights Athos’s conciseness, suggesting his words communicate directly without unnecessary additions.
• The declaration that his conversation was “a matter of fact, without a single romance” characterises his speaking as purely practical and devoid of emotion.
• The direct statement “He never spoke of women” immediately establishes his reluctance to discuss the topic.
• The author describes his contributions to conversations about women as “bitter words and misanthropic remarks,” revealing his cynical and unpleasant attitude.
• The adjective "disagreeable" in "very disagreeable to him" articulates Athos's strong displeasure when forced to engage in talk of women.
• The noun “reserve” implies his guarded and uncommunicative nature, especially regarding personal or emotional topics.
• The use of “roughness” further reinforces his abrasive and unrefined manner when such conversations arise.

Question 3 - Mark Scheme

You now need to think about the structure of the source as a whole. This text is from the start of a novel.

How has the writer structured the text to create a sense of contrast?

You could write about:

• how contrast develops throughout the source
• how the writer uses structure to create an effect
• the writer's use of any other structural features, such as changes in mood, tone or perspective. [8 marks]

Question 3 (AO2) – Structural Analysis (8 marks)

Assesses structure (pivotal point, juxtaposition, flashback, focus shifts, mood/tone, contrast, narrative pace, etc.).

Level 4 (Perceptive, detailed analysis) – 7–8 marks Analyses effects of structural choices; judicious examples; sophisticated terminology. Indicative Standard: The writer structures the text to develop a marked contrast in individual characterisation, initially focusing on Athos's extreme introversion and then shifting focus to juxtapose him with the diametrically opposed Porthos, whose loquaciousness and ostentation underscore their differences.

One way in which the writer structures the text to create a sense of contrast is through the juxtaposition of character introductions, commencing with the taciturn Athos before transitioning to the loquacious Porthos. The sustained focus on Athos’s reserved and almost ascetic nature ("never heard him laugh," "His words were brief and expressive") in the initial paragraphs immediately establishes him as a figure of profound quietude. This sustained depiction cultivates a specific, introspective mood. The subsequent pivot in the third main paragraph to Porthos, introduced with the explicit structural marker, "Porthos, as we have seen, had a character exactly opposite to that of Athos," serves to dramatically shift the narrative's tone and pace. This intentional contrast in character presentation highlights their fundamental differences, engaging the reader by setting up an immediate dynamic opposition.

In addition, the use of contrasting sentence structures and rhetorical flourish further amplifies the sense of difference between the characters. When describing Athos, the prose is deliberately spare, mirroring his minimalist communication: "no embellishments, no embroidery, no arabesques." This structural choice accentuates his lack of pretense and directness. Conversely, the description of Porthos employs more expansive and enthusiastic language, reflecting his verbose nature: "He not only talked much, but he talked loudly," and his delight "for the pleasure of talking and for the pleasure of hearing himself talk." This structural mirroring of character through linguistic style effectively differentiates their personas, offering the reader distinct literary experiences within the same narrative.

A further structural feature contributing to the overall sense of contrast is the mirroring of master-valet relationships, which extends the initial character contrasts to their accompanying figures. The text first details Grimaud, Athos's valet, who is trained "to obey him upon a simple gesture or upon a simple movement of his lips," reflecting Athos's own silent disposition. This initial portrayal reinforces the master's characteristics. The subsequent introduction of Mousqueton, Porthos's valet, with his "infinitely more sonorous name," immediately establishes a parallel but divergent dynamic. This structural repetition of the master-valet pairing, while altering the specifics, subtly underscores the fundamental differences between Athos and Porthos, creating a nuanced and layered understanding of their contrasting worlds.

Level 3 (Clear, relevant explanation) – 5–6 marks Explains effects; relevant examples; clear terminology. Indicative Standard: The writer uses a sequential structure that initially focuses on Athos's character, highlighting his taciturn nature and brief and expressive words. This is then immediately contrasted with the verbose and ostentatious Porthos, whose character is presented as exactly opposite, to emphasize the distinct personalities of the Musketeers and their valets.

One way the writer structures the text to create a sense of contrast is through the initial descriptions of characters. The passage begins by introducing Athos and his valet, Grimaud, immediately highlighting Athos's taciturn nature: "His words were brief and expressive." This creates a starting point for the reader, establishing him as a reserved individual.

In addition, a significant structural element creating contrast is the direct comparison between characters. After extensively describing Athos, the writer explicitly shifts to Porthos, stating, "Porthos, as we have seen, had a character exactly opposite to that of Athos." This direct juxtaposition immediately foregrounds their differences, highlighting Porthos's loquaciousness ("he talked much, but he talked loudly") against Athos's silence, thereby developing the contrast between the two men.

A further structural feature used to create contrast is the parallel descriptions of the masters and their valets. The text moves from Athos and Grimaud to Porthos and Mousqueton, and finally to Aramis and Bazin. This sustained pattern allows for subtle contrasts not only between the masters themselves but also between how their distinct personalities are reflected in (or contrasted with) their servants, such as Grimaud's fear of Athos versus Mousqueton's more pragmatic arrangement with Porthos, which ultimately develops a complex understanding of their relationships.

Level 2 (Some understanding and comment) – 3–4 marks Attempts to comment; some examples; some terminology. Indicative Standard: The writer creates contrast by initially focusing on Athos's silent nature and then introducing Porthos to show a different personality who is "exactly opposite" and likes to "talk loudly".

The writer creates a sense of contrast by starting with a description of Athos and then moving to Porthos. At the beginning, Athos is described as "taciturn" and having "brief and expressive" words, showing he is quiet. This makes him seem serious and mysterious to the reader.

Later, the text shifts to Porthos, who is described as someone who "talked much" and "talked loudly." This is a clear contrast to Athos's silence. The change in focus from a quiet character to a loud one helps to highlight their differences and keeps the reader interested in learning about the different characters. This structure helps build descriptions of the characters.

Level 1 (Simple, limited comment) – 1–2 marks Simple awareness; simple references; simple terminology. Indicative Standard: The writer creates contrast by describing Athos's silence and reserve before showing how "Porthos... talked much and talked loudly" which makes them sound very different.

One way the writer structures the text to show contrast is by describing different characters. This helps us see how they are not alike.

In addition, the writer introduces characters one by one. This lets us compare Athos and then Porthos, showing their differences clearly.

A further structural feature is the way the text focuses on each character's traits and their valets. This setup makes the contrasts stand out.

Level 0 – No marks: Nothing to reward.

AO2 content may include the effect of structural features such as:

• The text opens with an introduction to Athos, establishing his "peculiar" and taciturn nature.
• Initially, Athos is presented as a solitary figure, with his companions only remembering his smile, not his "laugh."
• A shift then introduces Grimaud, Athos's valet, and the unusual master-servant relationship, highlighting Athos's minimal speech.
• The narrative then directly introduces Porthos, immediately contrasting his character with Athos through the phrase "exactly opposite to that of Athos."
• This structural choice allows for a direct comparison of their communication styles: Athos's "brief and expressive" words versus Porthos who "talked much, but he talked loudly."
• The contrast extends to their appearance and social standing, with Athos naturally commanding respect despite Porthos's "splendid dress."
• The structure then parallels the presentation of masters with their valets, moving from Grimaud to Mousqueton, implying a mirroring of traits as suggested by "Like master, like man."
• The final section introduces Aramis, and his valet Bazin, completing the contrasting trio of characters and their matched servants.

Question 4 - Mark Scheme

For this question focus on the second part of the source, from line 16 to the end.

In this part of the source, Athos’s relationship with his servant Grimaud seems very cruel. The writer suggests that despite the physical punishment, there is a strong and loyal bond between them.

To what extent do you agree and/or disagree with this statement?

In your response, you could:

• consider your impressions of Athos's treatment of his servant Grimaud
• comment on the methods the writer uses to suggest the loyal bond between them
• support your response with references to the text. [20 marks]

Question 4 (AO4) – Critical Evaluation (20 marks)

Evaluate texts critically and support with appropriate textual references.

Level 4 (Perceptive, detailed evaluation) – 16–20 marks Perceptive ideas; perceptive methods; critical detail on impact; judicious detail. Indicative Standard: A Level 4 response would offer a “sophisticated analysis of the writer’s viewpoint,” dissecting how the seemingly cruel dynamic of “Athos then shrugged his shoulders, and, without putting himself in a passion, thrashed Grimaud” surprisingly coexists with Grimaud's “strong attachment to his person and a great veneration for his talents,” achieved through the subtle portrayal of Grimaud's inherent loyalty despite the physical punishment.

The statement highlights a compelling dichotomy in the relationship between Athos and Grimaud, and I largely agree with the assertion that despite the outwardly cruel treatment, a strong, underlying loyalty exists. The writer effectively constructs this complex bond through the portrayal of Athos's unconventional communication methods and Grimaud's paradoxical reactions.

Initially, the writer accentuates Athos's "cruel" and unconventional communication with Grimaud. The description that Athos "never spoke to him, except under the most extraordinary occasions," establishes an immediate sense of emotional distance and austerity. This is reinforced by Grimaud being "accustomed…to obey him upon a simple gesture or upon a simple movement of his lips," indicating a highly disciplined and almost dehumanised dynamic where verbal communication is deemed unnecessary. This lack of verbal interaction could be interpreted as cruel, stripping Grimaud of typical human engagement. However, the use of the vivid simile, "Grimaud, who feared his master as he did fire, while entertaining a strong attachment to his person and a great veneration for his talents," immediately introduces the paradox. The comparison to "fire" powerfully conveys overwhelming terror, yet juxtaposed with "strong attachment" and "great veneration," it suggests a profound, albeit fear-tinged, respect and admiration that transcends mere servitude. This sophisticated juxtaposition is crucial in establishing the nuanced loyalty.

The writer further develops this complex bond by detailing the consequences of Grimaud’s occasional misinterpretations. When Grimaud "flew to execute the order received, and did precisely the contrary," Athos's response is described as shrugging his shoulders and "without putting himself in a passion, thrashed Grimaud." The casual, almost dispassionate act of violence, implied by "thrashed," seems undeniably cruel. However, the mitigating phrase "without putting himself in a passion" suggests a controlled, almost ritualistic discipline rather than an outburst of rage, thereby preventing the act from being purely vengeful. The ironic observation that "On these days he spoke a little" further underscores their peculiar communication, implying that physical correction is a rare form of engagement for Athos, hinting at a twisted form of care or instruction. The fact that Grimaud, despite the physical punishment, continues to serve and anticipate Athos’s wishes, even if mistakenly, speaks volumes about his unwavering loyalty and devotion, indicating that he accepts this unconventional form of tutelage.

In conclusion, while the writer presents Athos’s methods of control as undeniably harsh and potentially "cruel," the description of Grimaud's enduring "attachment" and "veneration," coupled with his continued earnest attempts to serve, strongly supports the idea of a deep and loyal bond. The writer masterfully uses contrast and nuanced descriptions to show that this is not a simple master-servant relationship, but one steeped in respect and a formidable, if unusual, understanding.

Level 3 (Clear, relevant evaluation) – 11–15 marks Clear ideas; clear methods; clear evaluation of impact; relevant references. Indicative Standard: At Level 3, a response will identify that while Athos's treatment of Grimaud is "cruel" ("thrashed Grimaud"), the writer simultaneously suggests a "strong attachment to his person and a great veneration for his talents", illustrating a complex and loyal bond despite the physical punishment.

I largely agree with the statement that Athos's relationship with Grimaud, despite its cruel elements, is underpinned by a strong and loyal bond. The writer presents a complex dynamic, where harsh treatment coexists with a deep-seated attachment.

Initially, the cruelty seems undeniable. The phrase "he feared his master as he did fire" immediately establishes a sense of terror and power imbalance. This is reinforced by the casual description of Athos having "thrashed Grimaud" when orders are misunderstood. The cold, dispassionate manner in which Athos inflicts physical punishment ("without putting himself in a passion") highlights his dominance and Grimaud’s vulnerable position, portraying a relationship that appears outwardly abusive.

However, the writer subtly weaves in evidence of Grimaud’s loyalty. Despite the fear, Grimaud also entertains "a strong attachment to his person and a great veneration for his talents." The use of the noun "veneration" suggests a profound respect and admiration, going beyond mere fear or obligation. This paradox implies an emotional depth to Grimaud's feelings that belies the physical punishment. Furthermore, Grimaud’s earnest, if misguided, attempts to "execute the order received" demonstrate his dedication, even when resulting in punishment. His readiness to follow Athos's minimal communication ("a simple gesture or upon a simple movement of his lips") speaks to a long-established and unique understanding between them.

In conclusion, while the physical cruelty is evident, the text consistently points towards a profound loyalty. Grimaud's continued service and admiration, despite the floggings, convince me that the statement accurately captures the complex and ultimately strong bond between them.

Level 2 (Some evaluation) – 6–10 marks Some understanding; some methods; some evaluative comments; some references. Indicative Standard: A Level 2 response would show basic agreement that Athos's treatment of Grimaud is "cruel" due to the "thrashed Grimaud" detail, but also identify a sense of "loyalty" through phrases like "entertaining a strong attachment to his person."

I mostly agree with the statement that there is a strong and loyal bond between Athos and Grimaud, even though Athos treats him cruelly. The writer describes Athos thrashing Grimaud, which shows the physical punishment. This seems very harsh and unfair, especially when Grimaud "did precisely the contrary" of what Athos wanted.

However, the writer also suggests affection from Grimaud. We are told Grimaud "feared his master as he did fire, while entertaining a strong attachment to his person." The word "attachment" shows a connection that goes beyond just being a servant. The writer also says Grimaud has a "great veneration for his talents," meaning he highly respects Athos. This suggests Grimaud's loyalty despite the cruel treatment.

The writer uses description to show this loyalty, explaining that Grimaud quickly tries to obey Athos even when he misunderstands. This haste implies a desire to please and serve his master. Even though Athos punishes him, Grimaud's respect and attachment seem to remain.

Overall, I think the statement is true because the text shows both the harshness of Athos and Grimaud's continued loyalty.

Level 1 (Simple, limited) – 1–5 marks Simple ideas; limited methods; simple evaluation; simple references. Indicative Standard: A Level 1 response would show simple awareness of the relationship, stating that Athos thrashed Grimaud but also that Grimaud had a strong attachment to him.

I agree with the statement that Athos and Grimaud have a loyal bond, even though Athos is cruel.

The writer says Athos "thrashed Grimaud" when Grimaud messed up. This shows he was mean to Grimaud physically. But then it also says Grimaud "feared his master as he did fire, while entertaining a strong attachment to his person." This means Grimaud was scared but still liked Athos a lot.

The phrase "strong attachment" tells us that Grimaud had a good feeling for Athos. It's like he looked up to him even though he got hit sometimes. This suggests a loyal connection despite the pain.

So, I think the writer shows both the cruelty and the loyalty in their relationship.

Level 0 – No marks: Nothing to reward. Note: Reference to methods and explicit “I agree/I disagree” may be implicit and still credited according to quality.

AO4 content may include the evaluation of ideas and methods such as:

• The description of Grimaud’s fear of Athos “as he did fire” highlights the extreme nature of the servant’s apprehension, yet implies survival.
• The phrase “strong attachment to his person and a great veneration for his talents” directly contradicts the idea of a purely cruel relationship, suggesting loyalty.
• The detail that Athos “thrashed Grimaud” without “putting himself in a passion” implies a detached, habitual cruelty, not an emotional outburst.
• Grimaud’s occasional misinterpretations and resulting punishment suggest a communication issue rather than malice, showing him attempting to please.
• The statement that Athos “spoke a little” on thrashing days humorously indicates these events were a rare form of interaction.
• The contrast with Porthos's talkative nature emphasises Athos's reserved personality and thus the unusual silent bond with Grimaud.
• The writer’s matter-of-fact tone when describing the thrashing might normalise the physical punishment within the historical context, not necessarily painting Athos as outright evil.
• The comparison to other masters and servants, like Mousqueton and Bazin, provides context, making Athos’s treatment less singular and potentially more characteristic of the era.

Question 5 - Mark Scheme

Your English teacher has set a creative writing challenge to be shared in next week's lesson.

Choose one of the options below for your entry.

• Option A: Describe a treetop hideout from your imagination. You may choose to use the picture provided for ideas:

• Option B: Write the opening of a story about patching up a long-running rift.

(24 marks for content and organisation, 16 marks for technical accuracy) [40 marks]

(24 marks for content and organisation • 16 marks for technical accuracy) [40 marks]

Question 5 (AO5) – Content & Organisation (24 marks)

Communicate clearly, effectively and imaginatively; organise information and ideas to support coherence and cohesion. Levels and typical features follow AQA’s SAMs grid for descriptive/narrative writing. Use the Level 4 → Level 1 descriptors for content and organisation, distinguishing Upper/Lower bands within Levels 4–3–2.

• Level 4 (19–24 marks) Upper 22–24: Convincing and compelling; assured register; extensive and ambitious vocabulary; varied and inventive structure; compelling ideas; fluent paragraphing with seamless discourse markers.

Lower 19–21: Convincing; extensive vocabulary; varied and effective structure; highly engaging with developed complex ideas; consistently coherent paragraphs.

• Level 3 (13–18 marks) Upper 16–18: Consistently clear; register matched; increasingly sophisticated vocabulary and phrasing; effective structural features; engaging, clear connected ideas; coherent paragraphs with integrated markers.

Lower 13–15: Generally clear; vocabulary chosen for effect; usually effective structure; engaging with connected ideas; usually coherent paragraphs.

• Level 2 (7–12 marks) Upper 10–12: Some sustained success; some sustained matching of register/purpose; conscious vocabulary; some devices; some structural features; increasing variety of linked ideas; some paragraphs and markers.

Lower 7–9: Some success; attempts to match register/purpose; attempts to vary vocabulary; attempts structural features; some linked ideas; attempts at paragraphing with markers.

• Level 1 (1–6 marks) Upper 4–6: Simple communication; simple awareness of register/purpose; simple vocabulary/devices; evidence of simple structural features; one or two relevant ideas; random paragraphing.

Lower 1–3: Limited communication; occasional sense of audience/purpose; limited or no structural features; one or two unlinked ideas; no paragraphs.

Level 0: Nothing to reward. NB: If a candidate does not directly address the focus of the task, cap AO5 at 12 (top of Level 2).

Question 5 (AO6) – Technical Accuracy (16 marks)

Students must use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose and effect, with accurate spelling and punctuation.

• Level 4 (13–16): Consistently secure demarcation; wide range of punctuation with high accuracy; full range of sentence forms; secure Standard English and complex grammar; high accuracy in spelling, including ambitious vocabulary; extensive and ambitious vocabulary.

• Level 3 (9–12): Mostly secure demarcation; range of punctuation mostly successful; variety of sentence forms; mostly appropriate Standard English; generally accurate spelling including complex/irregular words; increasingly sophisticated vocabulary.

• Level 2 (5–8): Mostly secure demarcation (sometimes accurate); some control of punctuation range; attempts variety of sentence forms; some use of Standard English; some accurate spelling of more complex words; varied vocabulary.

• Level 1 (1–4): Occasional demarcation; some evidence of conscious punctuation; simple sentence forms; occasional Standard English; accurate basic spelling; simple vocabulary.

• Level 0: Spelling, punctuation, etc., are sufficiently poor to prevent understanding or meaning.

Model Answers

The following model answers demonstrate both AO5 (Content & Organisation) and AO6 (Technical Accuracy) at each level. Each response shows the expected standard for both assessment objectives.

• Level 4 Upper (22-24 marks for AO5, 13-16 marks for AO6, 35-40 marks total)

Option A:

Perched precariously amidst the gnarled, ancient limbs of an oak, the hideaway was a clandestine marvel, an arboreal sanctuary woven seamlessly into the forest’s emerald tapestry. Sunlight, fractured into fleeting motes of gold, filtered through the dense canopy, dappling the weathered, moss-kissed timber that formed its shell. It was a structure born not of blueprints, but of whispered secrets and diligent, surreptitious construction – a refuge where the very air hummed with the quiet magic of solitude.

Ascending was an adventure in itself, a spiral staircase, intricately carved from repurposed driftwood, clinging to the mighty trunk like a twisting vine. Each step, worn smooth by countless journeys, echoed faintly with the rustling leaves, leading upwards through layers of foliage. Upon reaching the apex, a narrow, unassuming portal, disguised by a thick curtain of ivy, yielded to an interior of unexpected spaciousness and comfort.

Inside, the world transformed. The walls, paneled with aged, aromatic cedar, seemed to breathe with the exhalations of the forest itself. A large, circular window, its glass perhaps salvaged from some forgotten greenhouse, offered a panoramic vista of the undulating emerald sea that was the treetop canopy, stretching endlessly into the hazy blue distance. From this vantage, one could observe the squirrels’ frantic acrobatics, the birds’ graceful aerial ballets, and the ceaseless, murmurous dialogue of the wind sighing through the leaves. Occasionally, a mist would roll in, a ghostly, ethereal tide that enveloped the hideout, transforming it into an island adrift in a sea of swirling white, the sounds of the world below muffled to a gentle hum.

The air, perpetually cool and carrying the earthy scent of damp soil and ancient wood, was a balm to the senses. A rustic, yet surprisingly comfortable, hammock swung gently in one corner, beckoning with the promise of tranquil contemplation or a sun-drenched nap. Shelves, laden with dog-eared books and curious trinkets found amongst the forest floor, adorned another wall, alongside a tiny, meticulously crafted desk. It was here, illuminated by the soft glow of an oil lamp as twilight descended, that thoughts found their clearest expression, untainted by the clamour of the mundane. This was more than just a structure; it was a breathing, living extension of the ancient wood, a place where the soul could unfurl and transcend.

Option B:

The chipped ceramic mug, the one with the faded floral pattern, sat precariously on the edge of the cluttered kitchen counter, a silent testament to years of neglect. Dust motes danced in the lone shaft of sunlight that pierced the grimy windowpane, illuminating the suspended animation of a home frozen in time. Eleanor traced the rim of the mug with a trembling finger, a gesture as hesitant as the breath she held. Twenty years. Twenty years since she’d last touched this mug, since she’d last seen her.

A knot of apprehension tightened in Eleanor's stomach, a familiar ache that had resided there for two decades, a constant, dull throb beneath the surface of her carefully constructed life. The familiar smell of lemon polish, perpetually present in this house, offered no comfort today; instead, it felt suffocating, trapping her in a mausoleum of memories. She glanced around the antiquated kitchen, every chipped tile and sagging cupboard a relic of a shared past, a past she had meticulously tried to bury under layers of indifference. But now, the ground was shifting.

The letter, surprisingly delicate and handwritten, lay open on the worn pine table, its cursive script a ghost of a once-vibrant connection. "I think it's time," it began, simply, unequivocally. Those four words, seemingly innocuous, had resonated through Eleanor's carefully guarded composure, shattering the fragile peace she had cultivated. Time for what, precisely? To unravel the tightly woven tapestry of denial? To confront the raw wound that had festered for so long? The very notion sent a shiver down her spine, a precursor of the emotional upheaval she instinctively knew was coming.

Eleanor walked to the window, the floorboards groaning beneath her weight, each creak a complaint against the disruption of their long-held stillness. Outside, the garden, once bursting with life and shared laughter, was now an overgrown wilderness, a tangled mess of thorns and forgotten roses. It mirrored the landscape of her heart, wild and untended, sheltering secrets and regrets in its shadowed depths. A lone robin, plump and defiant, hopped across the dishevelled lawn, its cheerful chirping a stark contrast to the oppressive quiet within.

She closed her eyes, willing herself back to that pivotal afternoon, the afternoon that had cleaved their world in two. The sharp words, the accusatory glances, the slamming door that had echoed through the hollow chambers of their lives ever since. The memory, though dulled by time, still possessed the power to sting, a potent reminder of the chasm that had opened between them. This wasn't merely a rift; it was a canyon, vast and formidable. And now, the daunting prospect of building a bridge across it lay before her, an arduous task for which she felt woefully unprepared.

• Level 4 Lower (19-21 marks for AO5, 13-16 marks for AO6, 32-37 marks total)

Option A:

The gnarled branches, ancient and knotted like a forgotten sculpture, formed the very foundation of my sanctuary. High above the forest floor, nestled amongst a canopy of verdant leaves, sat the hideout. It wasn’t a mere treehouse; it was a woven dream, a testament to endless afternoons spent amongst the whispering giants. Access was by a rope ladder, its treads smooth from countless ascents, leading to a trapdoor that, with a barely audible creak, opened into a world of quiet contemplation.

Within, the air hung thick with the earthy scent of wood and the faint sweetness of pine resin. Shafts of dappled sunlight pierced through gaps in the leaves, dancing across rough-hewn planks and illuminating dust motes that pirouetted in the golden light. The walls, paneled with salvaged timber, bore the marks of time and imagination – carved initials, a faded sketch of a dragon, and a curious collection of dried leaves pressed flat against the rough surface. In one corner, a small, worn cushion invited repose, perfectly positioned to gaze out through the unglazed opening, where the forest stretched out, a boundless emerald sea.

From this elevated perch, the world below unfolded like a living tapestry. The bustling activity of squirrels, the lazy flight of a beetle, the almost imperceptible sway of distant branches in a gentle breeze – all became subjects of intense observation. Sometimes, the mist would roll in, a ghostly tide that swallowed the trees whole, transforming the hideout into an island floating in a sea of soft grey. The world outside ceased to exist, replaced by an ethereal silence broken only by the drip of moisture from the leaves and the soft rustle of unseen creatures.

Evenings were perhaps the most magical. As twilight bled across the sky, painting it in hues of orange and deep violet, the hideout felt truly alive. The nocturnal symphony would begin: the chirping crickets, the hoot of an owl, the distant bark of a fox. A single lantern, hung from a beam, would cast a warm, flickering glow, turning the interior into a cozy haven, a secret world far removed from the mundane. Here, amongst the rustling leaves and the vast, starry sky, thoughts could wander freely, dreams could take root, and the weight of the everyday world would gently, completely, lift away.

Option B:

The old, wooden swing set stood as a silent sentinel in the overgrown garden, its chipped paint mirroring the years of neglect that had settled upon the house, and more significantly, upon their relationship. Dust motes danced in the lone shaft of sunlight piercing the grimy window, illuminating the forgotten corners of a room once vibrant with childish laughter. Now, only a heavy silence hung in the air, thick and suffocating like the cobwebs clinging to the forgotten memories.

Eleanor traced the outline of a faded photograph on the mantelpiece: two beaming girls, arms slung around each other, a testament to a bond that had once seemed unbreakable. A bitter smile touched her lips. How easily things fractured, she mused, like cheap ceramic, leaving jagged edges and untold damage. The letter, crisp and unsettlingly formal, lay discarded on the polished antique table, its carefully chosen words a stark contrast to the raw emotion churning within her.

She picked it up again, the elegant script a phantom touch from a past she had tried, with varying degrees of success, to bury. "We need to talk," it stated simply, yet the weight of those three words felt monumental. Years had woven a tangled tapestry of resentment and misunderstandings, each thread pulled tighter with every unspoken slight, every missed birthday, every unanswered call. The initial hurt had hardened into a protective shell, a fortress built brick by painful brick.

A sudden gust of wind rattled the windowpane, and a shiver ran down Eleanor's spine, despite the warmth of the spring morning. She walked to the window, gazing out at the tangled rose bushes, their thorny branches reaching wildly, untamed. They reminded her of their sisterhood – beautiful once, but now thorny and dangerous. Could anything truly be salvaged from such a prolonged decay? The prospect of confrontation, of reopening old wounds, felt daunting, almost impossible. Yet, something, a flicker of hope perhaps, or merely the relentless passage of time, urged her forward. The letter demanded an answer, and for the first time in a very long time, Eleanor felt an unexpected, if unwelcome, stirring of resolve.

• Level 3 Upper (16-18 marks for AO5, 9-12 marks for AO6, 25-30 marks total)

Option A:

Perched precariously high amidst the dense canopy, where ancient branches intertwined like the gnarled fingers of a forgotten god, lay the hideout. It wasn’t merely a structure; it was a whispered secret, a wooden heart beating within the towering giants. Rough-hewn planks, bleached silver by countless seasons of sun and rain, formed its walls, groaning softly in the persistent wind. Below, a perpetual mist, like a lazy, ethereal sea, swirled through the undergrowth, obscuring the world beneath and lending an almost mythical aura to the secluded aerie.

A narrow, rope ladder, frayed with use and patterned with verdant moss, descended from a trapdoor, swaying gently like a pendulous dream. Each step on its uneven rungs was a perilous ascent, a testament to the arduous journey towards sanctuary. Inside, the space was surprisingly expansive, bathed in a soft, dappled light that filtered through carefully placed small windows. These apertures, imperfectly square, offered breathtaking, panoramic vistas of the undulating green sea of treetops, stretching endlessly to the horizon. Sometimes, a curious squirrel, bold and quick, would scamper across a nearby branch, its tiny eyes glinting, momentarily pausing, as if acknowledging the hideout’s silent vigilance.

The floorboards, smooth from endless bare feet, smelled faintly of dry wood and forgotten adventures. A rudimentary, yet comforting, cot occupied one corner, covered with an antique quilt whose vibrant patterns had long faded. A makeshift bookshelf, overflowing with dog-eared tales of faraway lands and fantastical beasts, stood against another wall. The air was cool and crisp, often carrying the subtle, earthy scent of damp bark and blossoming wild honeysuckle from below. It was a place of quiet solitude, a watchful eye above the sleeping world, where the rustling leaves sang lullabies and the moon cast long, dancing shadows through the uncurtained panes, transforming the familiar space into an enchanted realm.

Option B:

The silence in the small cafe hummed louder than the antique coffee machine, a palpable thing pressing down on the space between them. Clara traced the condensation on her glass of iced tea, the cold seeping into her fingertips, yet doing little to calm the flutter in her stomach. Across the worn wooden table, Michael sat rigidly, his gaze fixed on some point beyond her shoulder, as if afraid to meet her eyes. Seven years. Seven years of this meticulously constructed silence, punctuated only by strained pleasantries at family gatherings, each word a carefully placed mine.

A thin ray of afternoon sunlight speared through the window, illuminating dust motes dancing lazily in the air, oblivious to the tension that clung to every surface. Clara remembered a similar afternoon, years ago, when sunlight had streamed through the large kitchen window of their childhood home, falling on a Monopoly board, just before the argument had erupted. Little did they know then that a misplaced hotel on Park Lane would shatter something far more significant than a game. The memory, sharp and unwelcome, pricked at the edges of her composure.

"So," Michael began, his voice surprisingly steady, yet devoid of any warmth. It was a starting point, she supposed, a tentative crack in the monumental wall they had built between them. Clara looked up, meeting his eyes for a fleeting second, and saw a familiar flicker of apprehension, instantly masked. This wasn’t an easy thing for either of them. The years had hardened the wound, turning a raw gash into a deep, indelible scar.

She cleared her throat, the sound a small, almost imperceptible tremor in the quiet. "So," she echoed, her own voice betraying a slight quaver she instantly regretted. She had imagined this moment countless times, drafted endless opening lines, rehearsed apologies, arguments, and reconciliations in her head. But now, faced with the stark reality of Michael’s unyielding presence, the carefully constructed scripts felt utterly meaningless. All that remained was the daunting task of bridging the chasm that had grown wider with every passing year.

• Level 3 Lower (13-15 marks for AO5, 9-12 marks for AO6, 22-27 marks total)

Option A:

The hideout sat high above the forest floor, a secret world nestled in the broad branches of an ancient oak. Sunlight struggled to break through the thick canopy, dappling the wooden planks with shifting patterns of light and shadow. A gentle breeze whispered through the leaves, making the whole structure sway ever so slightly, like a giant, comfortable cradle.

Built with rough-hewn timber, the walls were sturdy, promising safety from any prying eyes below. A single, small window, glazed with slightly warped glass, offered a glimpse of the misty landscape stretching out to the horizon. From up here, the world looked different, smaller and somehow more peaceful. The distant sounds of the forest – a bird's call, the rustle of unseen creatures – were muffled, creating a quiet sanctuary.

Inside, it was surprisingly cosy. A worn rug covered part of the wooden floor, and a dusty old telescope stood by the window, pointing skyward. Books were stacked haphazardly on a makeshift shelf, their spines faded from years of shared secrets. The air smelled of old wood and adventure. This was a place for dreaming, for planning, for escaping the everyday. It was a perfect retreat, a high-up haven where the worries of the ground below simply melted away. Every visit felt new, a fresh breath of freedom amongst the whispering leaves.

Option B:

The old house stood stubbornly against the biting wind, just as Dad had against me for so long. Its paint peeled like sunburnt skin, and the garden was a tangle of wild brambles, much like the feelings that had grown between us. I took a deep breath, the cold air stinging my lungs, and thought about turning back. But I’d come too far, both literally and figuratively, to give up now.

I raised my hand to knock, but my knuckles paused, hovering inches from the scarred oak door. A thousand old arguments, unspoken words, and slammed doors replayed in my mind. The image of Mum, her face tired and sad, flickered too. She’d always hoped we’d fix things. This was for her, as much as for us.

Finally, I knocked. Three sharp raps echoed in the silence, surprisingly loud. A long moment passed, and I braced myself for rejection, for the familiar knot of disappointment to tighten in my stomach. Then, the sound of slow, heavy footsteps. The door creaked open, just a sliver at first, then wider.

Dad stood in the doorway, older than I remembered, his hair thinner, his shoulders a little stooped. His eyes, the same shade of faded blue as mine, looked at me with a mixture of surprise and something else I couldn't quite place. His lips, usually set in a firm line, softened slightly. "Michael," he said, his voice a little gruff, but not unkind. "You came."

My throat felt tight. "Hi, Dad," I managed. It was a start. A small, tentative crack in the wall we’d built, but a start nonetheless. The brambles might take time to clear, but at least now, we were facing them together.

• Level 2 Upper (10-12 marks for AO5, 5-8 marks for AO6, 15-20 marks total)

Option A:

The hideout was nestled high in the ancient oak tree, a secret world made of weathered planks and sturdy rope. It wasn't just a basic treehouse; it was a castle in the sky, built by dreams and imagination. The morning mist often swirled around its foundations, making it feel like it floated on clouds, a hidden realm only I knew.

Inside, the light was always soft, filtered through leaves that whispered secrets with every breeze. There was a small, round window, like a ship's porthole, which offered a perfect view of the forest below. From up here, the world seemed different – smaller, quieter. Tiny birds would sometimes perch on the sill, their bright eyes curious. It felt like they were sharing their world with me.

A rough-hewn ladder, secured by strong knots, was the only way up. Climbing it was an adventure, each step a journey into my own private sanctuary. The air up there smelled of damp wood and fresh leaves, a comforting scent that spoke of wildness and peace. It was a place where stories unfolded, where worries faded, and where the imagination could truly soar, high above the everyday.

Option B:

The dusty attic smelled of forgotten memories, a bittersweet scent that always made Sarah’s heart ache a little. Sunlight, thin and pale, filtered through a grimy window, illuminating dancing motes of dust and the outlines of forgotten furniture draped in white sheets. A heavy cardboard box, surprisingly small and tucked away behind an old rocking horse, caught her eye. It was labelled in hurried, almost angry, handwriting: ‘Liam’s things – NOW’.

Twenty years. Twenty years since those angry words had been exchanged, sharp as shards of glass, leaving a chasm between them. The box contained the remnants of a friendship that had once felt as enduring as the ancient oak in their childhood garden. She carefully lifted the lid, revealing a jumble of faded photographs, a worn-out comic book, and a single, chipped ceramic mug. A wave of nostalgia, powerful and almost painful, washed over her.

Each item was a tiny key to a locked door in her mind. The comic book, Captain Comet Saves the Universe, brought back afternoons spent sprawled on the carpet, laughing until their sides hurt. The mug, a gift from Liam, made her recall a terrible birthday present she'd given him – a bright pink tie. They’d never stopped laughing about that tie. A small, tentative smile touched her lips. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late to mend the broken pieces. The thought was a fragile butterfly, fluttering in the dusty silence.

• Level 2 Lower (7-9 marks for AO5, 5-8 marks for AO6, 12-17 marks total)

Option A:

The old tree swayed gently, its branches thick and strong. My hideout was nestled high up, a secret place just for me. Big wooden planks made the floor and walls, they felt rough under my fingers as I climbed the rope ladder. A small window looked out, showing the world below.

From up there, everything looked different. The other trees were like fuzzy green giants, stretching out their arms. Sometimes, mist would roll in, making everything look like a dream. It felt like my own floating island. Inside, it was cosy. I had an old blanket and some books. Sometimes the wind would whistle through the gaps, making a quiet song. It was the best place to think, far away from everything. The air smelled fresh, like leaves and damp earth. I loved sitting there, just watching the world go by, safe and high above.

Option B:

The old house stood quiet, like it had for many years. Dust motes danced in the weak sunlight coming through the window. Thomas walked slowly into the hall. He had not been here since he was a young man. A long time. He felt a bit scared but knew he had to do this thing today.

He heard a cough from the front room. His brother, Mark, was there. Thomas walked to the door and looked in. Mark sat in an armchair, looking smaller than Thomas remembered. Their eyes met for a second, then looked away. It was awkward. Thomas cleared his throat. “Hello, Mark,” he said, his voice a bit wobbly. It felt strange to speak after so much silence between them. He hoped this would fix things.

• Level 1 Upper (4-6 marks for AO5, 1-4 marks for AO6, 5-10 marks total)

Option A:

My treehouse is high up. It is in a big tree. The tree has many leaves. Green leaves are everywhere. I like to be in my treehouse. It is a secret place. My friends and I go there.

We can see the forest from up high. The trees go on and on. Like a green blanket. Sometimes it is foggy. The fog makes everything white. It looks like a cloud. We are in the clouds.

Inside, there is a small window. I can look out. I see birds. Birds sing songs. It sounds nice. The treehouse feels safe. It is made of wood. Strong wood. I built it myself with my dad. It is fun. I like my treehouse a lot.

Option B:

The old house stood quiet. It was cold inside. I felt a bit scared. It had been years since I was here. My brother, Tom, was waiting. I knew he was. We had not talked for a long time. It was a stupid fight, but it grew big. Like a small fire that gets out of hand.

I knocked on the door. My hand was shaking a little. The door opened slowly. Tom was there. He looked older. He had grey hair now. His eyes looked sad. My heart thumped. He just stood there. We looked at each other. No words came out. The air felt thick. Like a blanket. I hoped this day would make things better. I really did.

• Level 1 Lower (1-3 marks for AO5, 1-4 marks for AO6, 2-7 marks total)

Option A:

I have a treehouse it is up high. it is made of wood. you go up a ladder to get there.

The treehouse is nice inside. there is a bed and a toy. i like to play there. it is secret.

outside you see the trees. misty in the morning. it looks blurry. i like my treehouse. it is fun to be there. I play all day.

Option B:

The sun was out. It was a new day. A fresh start. The birds sang in the trees. Lots of little baby birds.

Mark walked to her house. He was scared. He had not seen her for a long time. Many years. He had a big bunch of flowers. Red ones. He hoped she liked them. He knocked on the door. His hand shaked a little bit. He waited. He hoped she would open it. He wanted to say sorry.